21

So late that night Fenton rings Gus up and goes Im afraid Operation Aggots got a major flaw in it and the major flaw is this what if at the same time as were shanking Ivan Lego in the style of Neville Claude Aggot the real Neville Claude Aggot should happen to be shanking someone else at exactly the same moment thus providing himself with an ironclad alibi for the Lego slaying thus leaving us with no Oswald to put in the frame for it thus placing us in the rather awkward position of committing an act of depraved butchery and suddenly having no viable Oswald to pin it on I hate to say it but I think were going to have to call it off

And Gus goes yeah fair call Fent actually Ive been thinking about this myself and when you actually think about it it wouldnt be that bad at all think about it two blokes getting shanked simultaneously on two different sides of town at exactly the same instant with both modus operandis pointing squarely to Aggot but common sense dictating that Aggot can only of done one of them thus making it crystal clear that the other one must of been a political crime thus lending a shitload more credibility to our claim of responsibility so when you think about it we might actually be better off that way

And Fenton goes yeah well I dont know about that

And Gus goes no Fent think about it that way everyoned see that our claim must be fullon authentic ie logic would dictate that we must of killed at least one of the cunts but legally wed get off scot free because our claim wouldnt say which one of them we done so the pigs wouldnt have a leg to stand on in terms of prosecuting us because a they wouldnt know which one to charge us with and b proofwise the evidence at both scenes would point squarely to Aggot and none of it to us so when you think about it itd basically be the perfect political crime

Then Fenton goes yeah well thats all well and good but what are the odds that the real Aggot actually will slay someone else at exactly the same time as us actually theyre minuscule basically I was only mentioning it as a worstcase scenario

Then Gus goes you disappoint me Fent dont you see were just going to have to do it ourself

And Fenton goes what

And Gus goes yeah mate I was going to surprise you with this tomorrow morning but now youve fucked up the surprise I might as well tell you now were gonna go in with two death squads simultaneously so we can do two victims at exactly the same instant both Aggotstyle well have you and me doing Lego as per the original plan plus Col and Smithy doing some other bloke way to buggery over on the other side of town Ive already rung them up and theyre fully primed for it so basically all we need to do is meet up tomorrow morning to synchronise our watches I havent decided yet who the other blokell be but Ive got a couple of red hot possibilities which Ill tell you about at the synchronisation Im telling you mate Im excited about this you realise its only about twentyfour hours to showtime Im telling you mate this things going to go fair off the richter

Then Fenton thought about saying yeah well what if the real Aggot should happen to shank some third person at the exact same moment were doing the other two thus bringing the grand total of contemporaneous Aggotstyle atrocities to a highly preposterous three

But then he thought better of saying that and decided hed better stick with what he had